who's the boss?

all the organs o' the body were havin' a meeting,
tryin' te decide who the one in charge would be.

“i should be in charge” said the brain.
“because i run the body’s systems,
so wi'out me nothing would happen.”

“i should be in charge” said the blood.
“because i circulate oxygen all over,
so wi'out me all would waste awa'.”

“i should be in charge” said the stomach.
“because i process food an' give ye all energy.”

“i should be in charge” said the legs.
“because i carry the body wherever it needs te go.”

“i should be in charge” said the eyes.
“because i allow the body te see where it goes.”

“i should be in charge” said the rectum.
“because i’m responsible fer waste removal.”

all the other parts o’ the body laughed at the rectum,
and insulted him, so in a huff he shut duin ticht.

within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache,
the stomach was bloated, the legs became wobbly,
the eyes watery, an' the blood turned toxic.
an' they all decided the rectum should be boss.

the moral of the story –
the erse’ole is always in charge

funny how the funny things are true ! anyhoo
MONEY
A man will pay £2 for a £1 item he needs.
A woman will pay £1 for a £2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
BATHROOMS
A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel .
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A
man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about
dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods,
secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing